Winning Deep
Handling winning is equally important as handling losing
Pippa Grange is a sports psychologist who is known for her outstanding work with the English team at the 2018 World Cup.
She is credited with helping the team reframe fear, failure, and stress. Under her guidance, a very playful squad managed to win penalty shout-outs and reached a commendable fourth place.
Winning Shallow vs Winning Deep
After leaving the F.A., Pippa Grange wrote an excellent book, Fear Less, which introduced the concepts of Winning Deep and Winning Shallow. Let me paraphrase and quote Pippa (you can listen to Pippa on the Cody Royle podcast) to look at these in turn:
Winning Shallow is winning to avoid loss. It is competing with a focus on the outcome. You are desperate not to lose and have the feeling that if you don’t win, something of your own worth is going to be lost – and you won’t be a valuable person ( “if he wins, I’m a loser”). When receiving the trophy, you feel relief rather than joy. Winning shallow is associated with the never-ending hypermasculine mentality and toxic sayings like “There is no finish line”. Winning shallow is unsatisfying because comparative and driven by scarcity: “When will I win again?”
Winning Deep is about real fulfilment. It is not driven by the ego but by the soul. It comes from competing to test what you’ve got, not from comparing yourself to others. It is winning collectively, with joy, being fully present. Winning deep is much more satisfying than winning shallow because the wins are often connected to something outside of you and your ego. It comes “from the heart, mind, and soul”.
Alexandra Kosteniuk’s 2021 World Cup Win
A highly successful player, Women’s World Chess Champion from 2008 to 2010. Alexandra just won the Women’s World Cup in 2021, and we can see how meaningful the win is to her in the post-match interview.
Despite being tired, the meaning of the win shines through – especially since it has been a few years since her last major victories. She is truly appreciating the moment.
She was a guest on Levy’s podcast and her reflexions are a beautiful example:
“It was a dream that came true […] I did not expect it to happen. I did not focus on the result. I enjoyed every moment of it, I did not feel the pressure. […] When you are young, you are educated that the only place that matter is the first one. When I became a mom, I wondered ‘why?’ Why not the road? why not the process? […] My point of view has shifted […] In my career of course [caring about winning] it helped me […] but I’ve always wondered how my career would go if I hadn’t had this tremendous pressure from a very early age. […] Sometimes with so much pressure I wasn’t able to perform well […] I understand now how precious every win is, how hard it is to take the first place and I just appreciate it more.”
How to be a good winner
If you ever feel relief after a big win, it is a sign that you must recalibrate your attitude towards chess. Not winning is perfectly okay and does not label you as a lesser person, because your opponents are driving you to high excellence, and they got the better of you on the day. Their performance serves as a guide for you to raise your game when training time comes. And then on the day you win, you feel a profound gratitude toward your chess life and your opponents.
Originally written on 2021-09-12 but never published on substack